Stupid April 9, 2008

I am only human.

It would be really easy for me to only post good things about my ADD, and not mention the bad. But that isn’t fair to you the reader, and it is not fair to me, as this is supposed to be an account of my life with ADD. And you know what, sometimes it sucks. Sometimes, I do stupid shit.

Like, for example, Monday night

I have a prescription for Adderall. I don’t use it very often, because really, I cannot control what it makes me focus on, but it tends to be cleaning, organizing, or other useful things that provide no scholarly benefit. But I had a project, a paper, and a quiz to study for. So I took it. Because Hope Springs Eternal.

At 11:30pm, I made this list:

Here was my To Do List

-reread Hamlet
-finish math game
-write up prospectus for thesis

Here is what I got done
-cleaned out underneath bed
-folded and put away all clothes in dresser
-hung up and organized all clothes in closet
-dry and wet swiffered the floor, including cleaning underneath my desk, which has not happened since September. It took 3 dry cloths and 2 wet ones
-Moved around roly-set-of-desk-drawers from under desk to under bed to give me more room
-Cleaned and organized desk
-Cleaned and organized shelves above desk
-Cleaned and organized pull-out keyboard drawer into something ueseful
-printed out reading assignment for Children’s Lit tomorrow
-Threw clothes into backpack to prep for going to Inae’s tomorrow.
-Got some emailing done that needed to get done.

Noticed that none of the three things on the To Do List are on the Done List.

At midnight, I took another adderall, sat down at my desk, and got shit done. The paper and the project got done and done well, and I said fuckit on studying Hamlet. This turned out to be okay, since he canceled the quiz anyway.

I finished up at 6:30 AM, and took a 45 minute nap before heading off to my classes.

Fucking Stupid. I should know better. Now, there is no guarantee that  I would have gotten  the work done any faster had I not taken the adderall, since knowing me I would have sat on the computer and done useless things instead.  But  when I am already stressed out in general, not sleeping is the best way to get sick, asthmatic, and more stressed.

Frustrated April 6, 2008

It is the time during the semester when I usually get horribly overwhelmed.

I’ve made summer plans, know what I’m doing, and just want it to be here now. I’m sure all of you with ADD know what I am talking about, once you decide to do something, you want to do it RIGHT NOW

Instead, I have papers to write, projects to do, and homework to catch up on. I have so much to do, and all I want to do is pack my things and have it be summer now.

Thoughts For the Day April 6, 2008

ADD is apparently contagious, or so I have been told.

Also, I am a vector. Have been accused of being Patient Zero

Note-Taking March 25, 2008

Note-taking is a touchy subject for people with learning disabilities. If you are documented with your school, talk to disability services to see what sort of help they offer when it comes to notes. There is a chance that you can get outlines from professors, help from classmates, permission to tape lessons, etc.

For those of us who are undocumented, for whatever reason (a post for another day), I have, over the years, and with the help of some books, advice of friends, and lots of trial and error, come up with a system, and some tips:

Spring Break March 14, 2008

Going to Berlin for Spring Break rocked my socks. No, really. I did, however, learn some things about traveling with ADD.

• Have some sort of folder or envelope in your purse or traveling bag with your itinerary, tickets, info for accommodations, and passport. Much easier to find all this stuff if it is together.
• Research food ahead of time, because by the time you remember that you are really hungry, get distracted by pretty German things one more time, and then finally decide you really truly need to eat, you are to hungry to sit down, look through the guide book, pick what you want to eat, and find it.
• Have a rough itinerary, but don’t be disappointed if you end up spending more time at one place because it is shiny, and miss others.
• Don’t be disappointed when you cannot fit in everything you wanted to do and planned to do. Being ADD, you are always optimistic about how much time something will take. You cannot actually slow time down.
• (not really ADD) Try not to travel to Berlin when there is a transportation strike
• Pack light for the plane ride. Yes, it is seven hours, but you really do not need three books, knitting, homework, a notebook, an ipod, and a magazine. The seat-backs come with TVs and movies, and it is an overnight flight, so you will probably sleep through most of it anyway
• Don’t stress out about little things. This is a vacation
• The plane will not suddenly fall out of the sky. I promise. If it does, you can beat me up.
• Don’t forget to plan time to sleep.

He is sadistic March 3, 2008

Dear Professor,

There is a school mandated 15 minute break for all 3 hour classes. Just because you usually give us 20-30 minutes does not mean that you can decide to not give us a break and run over by 10 minutes. That noise you heard, was me vibrating in my seat, because I am physically incapable of sitting still that long. no love, me I would like to point out that this is a seminar on Milton. Come on, you expect me to stay awake for three hours reading 1600s poetry, with no coffee?

No Love, shiny

Book Review March 3, 2008

Currently, I only own two books on ADD.

I get others from the library when I have time to read them. The big plus about Terry Matlin’s Survival Tips For Women With AD/HD is that I can pick it up, read a few tips, then put it down and get distracted by other things.

I have, of course, attacked it with my handy-dandy highlighters, so that I can remember tips that I like, and ones that I really like get photocopied or put on sticky notes. I may post some of my favorites from time to time, but this needs to be quick because I have homework that needs doing

ADD Lesson Number 9003 March 2, 2008

Taking Adderall does not mean that one’s procrastination goes away, it just means that you procrastinate productively!

Things Done Today That Were Not My English Paper

1. Desk Cleaned
2. Books Organized
   Under the Bed of Doom Organized
3. School Folder on Computer Organized
4. Files Backed Up
5. Clothes Folded and Put Away from Laundry Done Two Weeks Ago
6. Yarn Box Organized

Clearly, My Professors Do Not Understand ADD February 24, 2008

I have to be hyper-organized to keep from forgetting assignments, not studying for tests, etc.

To this end, I schedule as many classes as I possibly can on one day, so that I can sit down and do all the work and prep for them the night before.

Of course, my professors are on to me, and couldn’t possibly want me to actually succeed.

Three of my five classes have assignments due, via internet posting or email at times other than the class meeting time.

One of them is Sunday nights at 5 pm.

What the hell is wrong with them?

My assignment notebook only works if I actually look at it, which only happens on Monday and Wednesday nights, the nights right before I have most of my classes.

Sticky Notes have been my friends so far, but it still irritates me

10 Steps To Doing Homework, for the ADD February 24, 2008

10. Stare at horribly messy desk. Wonder where assignment notebook is

9. Spend 20 minutes cleaning desk until you find assignment notebook. Abruptly stop cleaning when you find it.

8. Wonder what class you were planning to do homework for

7. Find sticky note stuck inside refrigerator, reminding you to do math homework.

6. Look all around dorm room to locate math book. Eventually locate it underneath pillow.

5. Spend 15 minutes reading magazine that was on top of math book

4. Make bed, so homework can be done on it, since desk is a lost cause

3. Put math book on bed, along with pencil, assignment notebook, and graph paper

2. Check IM messages

1. Wonder what homework you were supposed to be doing. And, 5 hours later, wonder why the hell your math book is on your bed.