ADD and Feelings of Inferiority

I had a horrific interaction with my internship supervisor on Thursday. Like seriously horrific. Because this is a public blog and internet sleuthing could probably result in my identity, I won’t post specifics. Suffice it to say it was truly traumatizing, and mostly not my fault. The person in question acted unprofessionally and inappropriately. This person even said at the beginning that my lessons went well, and that I have a great rapport with my students.

Even though I already have a meeting scheduled with the head of the program to mediate, I still am fighting some pretty significant depression over it.

It got me thinking. I take negative comments pretty hard, and I dwell on them. I’ve read that focusing on bad stuff is an ADD trait, but I sometimes struggle in how much of my feelings of inferiority and failure are my ADD and how much of these feelings are just my personality.

And, of course, since I am depressed and feeling sorry for myself, I descend into this spiral. What if it’s not really the ADD at all? What if I just suck at life? What if I am taking the easy way out by blaming all these things on a cognitive disorder?

Do y’all ever feel this way? What do you do?

Scary

My boss just introduced me to someone as the “organized one” I am not sure if this shows that I am an amazing actor or that he is just that disorganized.

Still Alive

I’ve been wicked busy, and then, today, ended up staying home from school because I caught something nasty from the germ-vectors… I mean, students.

I will post very soon about some of the unique challenges of student teaching with ADD, because let me tell you, they exist

Frustration

I have a really hard time dealing with being frustrated with myself. I had, all weekend long, planned today as the day to sit down and do work. Last night, however, a family friend suggested we go swimming and horsebackriding today. Now, I really needed the exercise, and it felt really good, but it ate up practically the entire day. By the time I got home and napped and ate dinner and was able to start on my To Do List, it was 8pm.

I’ve finished almost everything, if not quite to my satisfaction, at least good enough to call it done, but I am still irritated with myself. I need to start saying no to things, even things that are good for me, if I am going to manage my workload.

Sorry for the downer, I’ll try to be funnier tomorrow

Don’t Let the Dyslexic Fill Out Paperwork

On Tuesday, I had to fill out a big stack of forms for my boss, in order to get hired. A bunch of the forms needed that day’s date on them. A bunch of them needed my birthday on them. It was September 1st. My birthday is January 9th. So I was alternating between writing 9/1 and 1/9. I think I had to scribble out a dozen dates for being the wrong month, or day, or year.