ADD and Feelings of Inferiority

I had a horrific interaction with my internship supervisor on Thursday. Like seriously horrific. Because this is a public blog and internet sleuthing could probably result in my identity, I won’t post specifics. Suffice it to say it was truly traumatizing, and mostly not my fault. The person in question acted unprofessionally and inappropriately. This person even said at the beginning that my lessons went well, and that I have a great rapport with my students.

Even though I already have a meeting scheduled with the head of the program to mediate, I still am fighting some pretty significant depression over it.

It got me thinking. I take negative comments pretty hard, and I dwell on them. I’ve read that focusing on bad stuff is an ADD trait, but I sometimes struggle in how much of my feelings of inferiority and failure are my ADD and how much of these feelings are just my personality.

And, of course, since I am depressed and feeling sorry for myself, I descend into this spiral. What if it’s not really the ADD at all? What if I just suck at life? What if I am taking the easy way out by blaming all these things on a cognitive disorder?

Do y’all ever feel this way? What do you do?

First Week of Teaching Down

In other news, I still haven’t finished the cleaning that I posted about. What I came home to still on my bed at 12:30 got unceremoniously dumped on the floor at the end of my bed, and is still there, four days later.

This week was Teacher Orientation, also known as Torture Those with ADD. 6 hours of professional development each day, with a measly 30 min lunch break. That’s right, from 8-12 and 12:30-2 I had to sit still in a seat and listen to someone talk about how to teaching writing. First lesson. Not by making the kids sit for ridiculous amounts of time.

I also got to meet some of the parents, and some of the kids. Lordy, will this be interesting. Expect funny stories. Lots of them. Also, hair pulling. Most likely mine.

I am trying to focus on the little things, and create habits to fit my new space. I was really proud of myself for getting up at 6ish each morning, taking a packed lunch, and being dressed appropriately, complete with jewelry. Goals for next week include packing the lunch the night before EVERY time, and making my own coffee instead of buying it at Dunks.